PTL!: 2013

First Things

"Creative people are selfish", "creative people are not practical", "creative people are out of touch with reality". All of these statements are somewhat true and somewhat false.

To be disciplined and productive, a creative person must choose to put time into their creativity, something that may be viewed as lacking in value or purpose by the more pragmatic among us. Carving out time to put into painting, writing, and other artistic pursuits, can seem selfish because generally these are solitary pursuits. However, they could also be termed altruistic in the sense that they enrich the lives of others.

Well-known artists, writers, etc must to some degree be practical in order to achieve that status. The value of creative outputs is inevitably subjective. Well-marketed, 'name' creative outputs may have no more intrinsic value than those from the unknown and un-marketed, but will command a higher price. The purely creative person, unversed in promotion is perhaps the epitome of the non-practical in the sense that their outputs may never see the light of day or be sold. But if they are creating because they are internally driven to do so, rather than because they expect to earn an income from it, this impracticality is irrelevant, at least to them!

We are constantly being told that reality is subjective...perhaps it could be stated more accurately that our experience of reality is subjective. This being the case, if a creative person experiences reality in a different way from a practical person, that should come as no surprise. It could also be seen as a great advantage to combine these different viewpoints in dealing with "reality". All of us need superfluous, gratuitous, unnecessary embellishments in our lives. Life without beauty may be functional, but it wouldn't be much fun!

Reluctant Writers

As a home educating parent, I made an accidental discovery about overcoming reluctance to write. On one occasion, my 7 year old cried for 1 1/2 hours after being asked to write a few sentences. Horrified, I pulled back from asking him to write anything for a while, questioning whether I had been completely unreasonable to put such a burden on him. Later when I began writing "Plimgar to Luminar: Samuel's Quest", all of my kids showed sudden and consistent interest in beginning their own writing projects and 2 of them (including the cryer) still continue to work on creative writing whenever they can.
Maybe it was a timing thing, but I have the feeling that my own desire to write piqued their interest. Some things are better caught then taught I guess.

I Love this Poem

Not Waving but Drowning

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Stevie Smith

Ever since my early 20's I loved this poem because it evokes to me the sad reality of miscommunication. So often we think we are understanding one another, but in reality we talk past each other with each individual receiving a message that was not sent and each sender thinking they have expressed themselves with clarity.

It is a tragic truth that many who are "too far out and drowning" are unable to get their "help" message through even to those close to them. It is so much easier to hear "everything's fine" than "I can't cope".

In some ways that is the beauty of the poetic, it wraps the hard to hear, hard to take stuff, like a sledgehammer in featherdown. The message is clear, but not raw, even when stark.

Winter

Aware of the brightness of the sun rising
Lacking any sense of warmth,
I asked You why

"It's winter" You whispered
Time for rest
Time to wait

How long will the sun lack heat?
How long will You seem so far away?

Spring brings growth, colour, new life
My long awaited spring
Growth from death

Summer flows from spring
Warmth from growth
Your closeness no weak light, but toasty
Now You walk close to me

Head Space

Although I like the idea of being a spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous, life grabber, the fact is I like to know what's happening and plan it into my sometimes chaotic existence. This has not always been the case, but I think the fact that much of my time seems to be absorbed into the requirements of our family, makes me vigilant against any intrusive additions to our already hectic lives.

Headspace (capacity to think, consider, reason, choose) seems more limited these days and I know I am not alone in feeling that way. Even my kids complain that time moves too quickly, the years seemingly tripping over each other in their haste to pass. And yet...

Time spent out in the middle of nowhere, with no phone, computer, music player, watch, seems to settle itself back to a reasonable pace. Perhaps time itself is frazzled with the frenetic pace of modern life? Maybe if we could all take time away somewhere without distractions, it might get right back to its old lazy pace so well-remembered from childhood.

Creative Complaining

Lately I have had little head-space for the creative in my life...writing, baking, singing, acting, goofing-around with the kids. And yet I know that to remain sane, dance alone is not enough! Believing that all of life needs to be imbued with creativity in order to have flavour and richness, I am now thinking creatively about complaining.

I don't like to complain. It feels uncomfortable and unpleasant. However, I am beginning to see that just as my kids need my correction when they are out of line or rude (not for my sake, but for theirs), complaining to a business or service provider that hasn't got things right is more for them than it is for me.

I know that sounds wierd, but some companies pay to find out what their customers think of them, even if it isn't pleasant. So when I complain about something that's not up to scratch, that is useful information for the company. They can learn what not-to-do for next time, they also get the opportunity to fix the problem this time.

I always tell my kids, "it's not what you say, but how you say it" and I think that's the case with complaining too. So when I need to complain, I aim to take a little time, think carefully, and after writing a stinging rebuke, redraft it as a calm, reasoned suggestion.

Complaining creatively could really take off...

Revelation

When the things I thought I knew
Are not
When trust has been taken
And broken
When love is just a word
You've spoken
I want to hide

I know where to go
With fear
I know what to do
With doubt
I know you stand beside me
But not near

Let me out

The anger of my soul
Can't condemn
The horror of my heart
Can't revile
You are who you were
Even then
I was blind

Planning

I've been seeking Your direction
When You called me to seek Your face
I've been asking what is next for me
Instead of resting in Your grace

It's not Your power I need more of
It's You within, filling my soul

When I lose myself in You Lord
I will truly be at home
When my gaze is always on You
I will walk the paths You plan

Intercession

Silently accusing
Open, waiting books
My mind restless
And my heart

Time seeping away
Water on hot sand
Gone in vapour
My heart too

Water on the ground
For the lives of these
In your presence
My heart

Time Snap

When they left
It was different
The feelings crashed in
But not for them
When they turned
It stopped
And time moved on
Except you
Caught in a changing wind
Fixed and gaping
Perpetual surprise
Time stopped in your eyes

Physics of Faith

Strange how the joy comes
Praise born
Attempts to snatch my peace
Thwarted by a song

Seeking Your face
So hard, so rewarding
My whole heart You say
And nothing less
A small price to pay I know
And yet too much to do alone

Only through You can I give what You ask
Only through Your life can I live, move, be
The illusion of self-sufficiency easily believed

Until the world shatters
Until the electrons stop spinning
Until decay moves past recovery
And nothing is but You

The World

So many questions
So many needs
So few answers
So much greed
So little time
So great the speed
So near the edge
So far it seemed

The News

When the crunch comes
As inevitably it does
We’ll be ready

Many little crunches led to this
And what’s one more?
Just another crisis
One more disaster to brush aside

Misery is mundane
Living hell, ho-hum
A television drama
Someone’s idea of fun

The starving faces
The mushroom clouds
Images of dreamtime
Unreal
Unwanted
Unseen

PTL!