I Love this Poem

Not Waving but Drowning

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Stevie Smith

 

Ever since my early 20's I loved this poem because it evokes to me the sad reality of miscommunication. So often we think we are understanding one another, but in reality we talk past each other with each individual receiving a message that was not sent and each sender thinking they have expressed themselves with clarity.

It is a tragic truth that many who are "too far out and drowning" are unable to get their "help" message through even to those close to them. It is so much easier to hear "everything's fine" than "I can't cope". 

In some ways that is the beauty of the poetic, it wraps the hard to hear, hard to take stuff, like a sledgehammer in featherdown. The message is clear, but not raw, even when stark.

Winter

Aware of the brightness of the sun rising
Lacking any sense of warmth,
I asked You why

"It's winter" You whispered
Time for rest
Time to wait

How long will the sun lack heat?
How long will You seem so far away?

Spring brings growth, colour, new life
My long awaited spring
Growth from death

Summer flows from spring
Warmth from growth
Your closeness no weak light, but toasty
Now You walk close to me

Head Space

Although I like the idea of being a spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous, life grabber, the fact is I like to know what's happening and plan it into my sometimes chaotic existence. This has not always been the case, but I think the fact that much of my time seems to be absorbed into the requirements of our family, makes me vigilant against any intrusive additions to our already hectic lives.

Headspace (capacity to think, consider, reason, choose) seems more limited these days and I know I am not alone in feeling that way. Even my kids complain that time moves too quickly, the years seemingly tripping over each other in their haste to pass. And yet...

Time spent out in the middle of nowhere, with no phone, computer, music player, watch, seems to settle itself back to a reasonable pace. Perhaps time itself is frazzled with the frenetic pace of modern life? Maybe if we could all take time away somewhere without distractions, it might get right back to its old lazy pace so well-remembered from childhood.